8 Things That Scare Clients Away From Therapy

Have you ever had a therapist? Do you know someone who does (or did)?  How long did it last?  If it ended, why did it end?

PsychCentral.com ~~  Sadly, for many clients, their therapy ended because they either lost interest, did not feel they were growing and learning, did not see any changes in their behaviors, thoughts, or emotions, and/or felt the therapist was not benefiting them in any way. Finding a good therapist who upholds ethical practices and who is able to provide clients with competent therapy is difficult. It is even more difficult to find a therapist who is naturally nurturing and caring.

It may take multiple rounds of therapy before a client is able to determine if the kind of therapy they are receiving is either good or bad. By the time a client notices that their therapy is useless, it is too late and much money, time, and energy has been spent. After a bad experience like this, many clients walk away from therapy and never turn back. This article will discuss 8 reasons for why clients refuse to return to therapy after bad experiences. The purpose of this article is to highlight some of the common challenges of therapy and when it is time to say you’ve had enough.

It is a real fact that some therapists and other mental health professionals are unable or unwilling to connect to clients and their problems. Connecting to clients is a job in and of itself. It can be psychologically and emotionally draining. But isn’t that what being a therapist or mental health professional is all about? If you would ask a college student why they are interested in the field of psychology they would most likely tell you they are interested because “I want to help people.” That’s a wonderful thing!

Continue reading “8 Things That Scare Clients Away From Therapy”

Why Was I A Disappointment?

Image source: differentdream.com

WHY WAS I A DISAPPOINTMENT?

why was I such a big disappointment
and what age did you start loathing me
your son wasn’t treated like that
and I tried everything in me to please

the sexual abuse wasn’t my fault
yet you made it and believed it to be
to save face in the neighborhood was so important
keeping the secret didn’t destroy you as it did me

Continue reading “Why Was I A Disappointment?”

SHE’S SUCH A NICE GIRL

I’ve never recognized why I developed a short fuse or experience sudden outbursts of anger while growing up, until I was in my therapy session last week.  My therapist and I are seldom at odds, yet one particular thing that she said ticked me off and I just snapped at her which turned into anger.

We talked it through, and resolved the issue, but I was shocked when she said “when angry, the PTSD kicks in just like that”.  I never connected anger, irritability or having a short fuse before with PTSD, but it makes sense.

Continue reading “SHE’S SUCH A NICE GIRL”

PTSD, Narcissism & TRIGGERS: Reliving the crap all over and over again

Just a quick glimpse at a man’s hands with dirty fingernails is my worst trigger, followed by a flashback.  Seems whacky, doesn’t it?

Bad memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time.  You may feel the same fear and horror you did when the event took place.  You may feel like you’re going through the event again.  This is called a flashback. Sometimes there is a trigger: a sound or sight that causes you to relive the event.  Triggers might include:

  • Hearing a car backfire, which can bring back memories of gunfire and war for a combat veteran.
  • Seeing a car accident, which can remind a crash survivor of his or her own accident.
  • Seeing a news report of a sexual assault, which may bring back memories of assault for a woman who was raped.    Source:  WebMed.com

Continue reading “PTSD, Narcissism & TRIGGERS: Reliving the crap all over and over again”

What happened next when you told someone about your sexual abuse?

There has been a secret you’ve been concealing, that’s most likely eating you up inside, however, you now have mustered enough courage to tell someone you trust.   It’s rough, you’re just a kid.

Protection and trust have already been shattered by your abuser; you just couldn’t take it anymore, now it’s time to receive compassion, tenderness and told you were so courageous for coming forward and that person will be punished.

It may perhaps have been very positive for you, you were believed, acknowledged, obtained love, affection, sorrow and apologies for this ever happening; possibly counselling.  You went on to recover with perhaps some difficulty, but you received support. Continue reading “What happened next when you told someone about your sexual abuse?”

Courage & Trust

Trust has been a huge issue for me, with problems throughout my life including selecting friends, wary of men or other adults.  I took an enormous risk marrying my husband in 1979, we’re still married, so I chose well and my instincts proved it.  An abuser, along with my parents, stole that away from me at the age of 8, and are to blame for this.  Not fair.

“Once a Victim ~ Now a Survivor Award” for Everyone who is a Warrior

I created and designed this “Once a Victim, Now a Survivor” award in March/2015, as I wanted it to represent and award those who have struggled with mental illness, and especially everyone who is living with C/PTSD (complex/post-traumatic stress disorder).   PTSD includes those dealing with trauma, abuse and for many childhood sexual abuse.  We were victims once, but now we are Survivors

So pay it forward if you’d like and nominate others; it’s a way to recognize some of the bloggers you’ve discovered who are worthy of this award OR accept it for yourself.  You can display it on your own blog and be proud of it.  Congrats!

Deb

 

Friendship Recipe

FRIENDSHIP

  • 2 cups patience
  • 1 heartful of love
  • 2 handfuls of generosity
  • Dash of laughter
  • 2 cups loyalty
  • 1 cup understanding

 Mix all ingredients well.  Sprinkle generously over a lifetime and serve to everyone you meet. 

~~

 I love this quote:  “Choose your socks by their colors and your friends by their character.  As choosing socks by their character makes no sense.  Choosing friends by their color is unthinkable. ~~ Unknown

~Deb 

 

SHE’S SUCH A NICE GIRL

I’ve never recognized why I developed a short fuse or experience sudden outbursts of anger while growing up, until I was in my therapy session last week.  My therapist and I are seldom at odds, yet one particular thing that she said ticked me off and I just snapped at her which turned into anger.

We talked it through, and resolved the issue, but I was shocked when she said “when angry, the PTSD kicks in just like that”.  I never connected anger, irritability or having a short fuse before with PTSD, but it makes sense.

Continue reading “SHE’S SUCH A NICE GIRL”

Panic Moments

I worked for my company for six years, then left unexpectedly due to “can’t take it this job any longer” depression, then resulting in long-term disability three years ago.  I never disclosed to anyone the struggle with my mental illness the entire time I was employed, largely due to trust issues and stigma.  The lunch ladies weren’t honorable; a bunch of gossipers with loose lips, so actually no one knew why I quickly departed.

Continue reading “Panic Moments”

Once a Victim ~ Now a Survivor Award

We all kept “The Secret”, promised not to tell, or did tell and no one believed us, but we still held that secret inside of us for years, then it activated and we started to ‘peel back the onion’.

Continue reading “Once a Victim ~ Now a Survivor Award”

What happened next when you told someone about your sexual abuse?

There has been a secret you’ve been concealing, that’s most likely eating you up inside, however, you now have mustered enough courage to tell someone you trust.   It’s rough, you’re just a kid.

Protection and trust have already been shattered by your abuser; you just couldn’t take it anymore, now it’s time to receive compassion, tenderness and told you were so courageous for coming forward and that person will be punished.

It may perhaps have been very positive for you, you were believed, acknowledged, obtained love, affection, sorrow and apologies for this ever happening; possibly counselling.  You went on to recover with perhaps some difficulty, but you received support. Continue reading “What happened next when you told someone about your sexual abuse?”

Sorry to bother you

This for me is hiding my depression and not showing how badly my head is throbbing due to horrible chronic migraines.   Perhaps this is why people question why I remain on disability, as I appear to “look well”.  I believe people have grown tired of my “headache” woes, as they seem to change the subject fast.

PTSD & TRIGGERS: Reliving the crap all over and over again

Just a quick glimpse at a man’s hands with dirty fingernails is my worst trigger, followed by a flashback.  Seems whacky, doesn’t it?

Bad memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time.  You may feel the same fear and horror you did when the event took place.  You may feel like you’re going through the event again.  This is called a flashback. Sometimes there is a trigger: a sound or sight that causes you to relive the event.  Triggers might include:

  • Hearing a car backfire, which can bring back memories of gunfire and war for a combat veteran.
  • Seeing a car accident, which can remind a crash survivor of his or her own accident.
  • Seeing a news report of a sexual assault, which may bring back memories of assault for a woman who was raped.    Source:  WebMed.com

Continue reading “PTSD & TRIGGERS: Reliving the crap all over and over again”