Depression: Don’t Cry At My Party

trying

You are attending a party and you feel like crap. Imagine planning your escape the moment you enter the room?

Envision feeling isolated when you are surrounded by lots of people; with friends, celebrating a birthday party at somebody’s house. You experience emptiness. Chatter, laughter, and enjoyment are overwhelming, yet you are numb.  You knew this wasn’t a good idea.

Depression is lonely. Curled up in a ball–lonely.

This happened to me many years ago. I felt obligated to attend a birthday party, and although I resisted, I soon surrendered since it was for a beloved friend, and I was absent from all other celebrations throughout the past year.

Seated in a Lazy-Boy for part of the evening, I held firmly onto a diet Coke and observed the party from afar. I thought it polite to rise and finally mingle, express a smile, pretend to enjoy the evening, yet the feeling of hollowness was debilitating. Laughter echoed.

Continue reading Depression: Don’t Cry At My Party