MOM, WHY DID YOU HAVE ME?

Mom, why did you have me?

A question I often ask
making no sense at all
for a woman so resentful and hateful

Bringing children into this world
as her own emotional punching bag
used for criticism and anger
against the daughter, who only craved for
a mother to love her

Mom, were you unhappy as a little girl?

I’m sorry if you were
but for you as my mother
you’ve damaged two lives now
that wonderful opportunity at a relationship with me
and my fantasy mom that I forever aspired you to be

I fantasized that we would bake cakes and chocolate chip cookies together,
perhaps getting flour over each other and laughing
Sewing, cooking, reading stories and joking
trying on your clothes, lipstick and shoes
going shopping like two girls together and giggling
but you seldom had patience for me and
I just appeared an annoyance in your eyes

your cruel words brought tears, unable to ever do anything right
starved of empathy and hugs, and hearing only critical remarks
sitting in my bedroom closet where there was peace and no yelling
I tried telling myself, why do I always make her so angry?
I ask once again

Mom, why did you have me?

~~ Deb

Please adopt me!

Image: PROTECT ALL WILDLIFE@Protect_Wldlife

Adopting a dog won’t change the world but it will change the life of the dog forever! @Ricky Gervais {fabulously fake} #AdoptDontShop

My sweet Emma is a rescue dog, so happy I chose this route as she was treated horribly at a puppy mill, when all she wanted was a safe home, and someone who will love and take care of her.  We both smile and hug each and everyday; companions for life.

Friendship Recipe

FRIENDSHIP

  • 2 cups patience
  • 1 heartful of love
  • 2 handfuls of generosity
  • Dash of laughter
  • 2 cups loyalty
  • 1 cup understanding

 Mix all ingredients well.  Sprinkle generously over a lifetime and serve to everyone you meet. 

~~

 I love this quote:  “Choose your socks by their colors and your friends by their character.  As choosing socks by their character makes no sense.  Choosing friends by their color is unthinkable. ~~ Unknown

~Deb 

 

Considering Couples Therapy? Here are 7 signs….

My husband and I have been married for over thirty years, and it was suggested that we do some couple’s counselling just to talk over some issues and have a third party to oversee each of our points of view.  It really made a difference with only 6 sessions.  

Fixing a relationship with therapy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s broken, it’s just maintenance!

Continue reading

Honey, do we have to go?

That’s the question I would raise each time hubby would announce a company function or get together with his group from work.  I was fighting never-ending depression, felt vulnerable and incapable of even forcing small talk. It’s also called isolation.

I was in a dilemma a few years back.  My husband’s company was having their Christmas party and he felt obligated to go.  I, of course resisted initially, and then thought I was being self-centered since backing out of several of his company parties previously.  These functions were of course met with forever the same excuse to hubby; my black-cloud feeling of the hopelessness and helplessness of depression. Continue reading