Do you know what Tardive Dyskinesia is?

FDA Approves Treatment for Tardive Dyskinesia

A new drug valbenazine (trade name Ingrezza) has been approved by the US Food and Drug Administration for the treatment of tardive dyskinesia.

Tardive dyskinesia, a side effect of long-term use of antipsychotic medication, consists of involuntary movements of the tongue, face, torso, arms, and legs. It can interfere with walking, talking, and breathing.

The approval followed 20 clinical trials of valbenazine that included a total of more than 1000 participants who had symptoms of tardive dyskinesia in addition to schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, or bipolar disorder.

In a 2017 article in the American Journal of Psychiatry, researcher Robert A. Hauser and colleagues reported that patients who received 80 mg/day of valbenazine had a significant reduction in tardive dyskinesia symptoms after six weeks compared to those who received placebo. Participants who received 40 mg/day of valbenazine also had reductions in symptoms, although not as dramatic as with the higher dose.

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Financial Abuse ~ A form of Elder Abuse

How can people live with themselves when taking advantage of others?  I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing I was ripping off a relative.  

Financial abuse is a form of abuse that often goes hand in hand with other abuses.  It’s also an all too common form of elder abuse. Anyone who is frail, sick, in an institution or unable to handle their own finances completely and with understanding, is vulnerable to financial abuse. 

Frequently, financial abuse is a part of domestic abuse, being employed as a way of controlling the victim and preventing her from being able to escape the abusive relationship.

Financial abuse is often a part of another abuse such as domestic violence or emotional/psychological abuse or even bullying. It can result from drug or alcohol addictions too.

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse is any abuse involving money. It can be perpetrated by an individual or an organisation. If someone forces you to take money from your account to give to them, takes money from you, pressures you into giving them money, borrows from you and refuses to repay the loan, forces you to sign something without explaining the full implications or allowing you to read the small print, takes your benefits or charges for services you have not received or requested, it is financial abuse.

Financial abuse can also involve cowboy traders who undertake work and leave a substandard job after receiving payment.

Financial abuse in domestic abuse/domestic violence

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MENTAL ILLNESS: Should I Apologize?

WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF IT WEREN’T FOR MENTAL ILLNESS?

WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF IT WEREN’T FOR DEPRESSION?

This thought has crossed my mind many times over the years, forever questioning what my life would be like without mental illness.

Beginning in the mid-1990’s, this illness first tossed me into a life of bleak depressive despair, feeling hopeless and helpless, coupled with hospitalizations, countless medications, and ineffective ECTs. With it came a loss of so many things, as well as myself. I found myself apologizing for being ill, but why? Apologizing for an illness?

For one, I kissed my livelihood goodbye. As an accounting supervisor, I had a well-paying position, enjoyed my job and colleagues, and imagined I would have continued with my career with that company.

A misfortune, becoming so ill with depression and hospitalizations, I ultimately lost my job, then hanging on for over two years frantically waiting for government disability to kick in. You discover swiftly to become thrifty.

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PTSD – The Trauma Tree

I thought this was an excellent infographic explaining all forms of PTSD and displaying the horrific impact it has on a person in the future. 

Trauma Tree - this is a good graphic of how symptoms can grow from trauma and ignoring the issues. With good therapy, coping skills and support these symptoms can be more controllable:

Source: http://eyemovementdesensitizationandreprocessing.com/emdr-side-effects/

Letting Go…

A must read! An excellent post by a blogger who is writing to her narcissistic mother.

redheadedhousewife

These words have been very hard to write and I have postponed this post for awhile. It is personal, heartfelt, dark and honest. I am releasing my inner most honest heartbroken feelings.  I need to let go of the pain & heartache I carry with me.  It is no secret that I have a very difficult with the one person who should be my biggest fan. I have and always have had very deep, dark & painful feelings about our relationship. I don’t remember every feeling like you wanted me. I feel like you had expectations of who and what you thought I should be but I’ve never measured up to what you wanted. So you used me as your proverbial verbal punching bag.

I was a good kid. I did pretty well in school. I never got in trouble at school and maintained the honor roll through High School. I have never done drugs. I have never even gotten drunk. Even as an adult today, I will have…

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Have you ever heard about Silent Migraines?

How migraines without headache pain can wreak havoc on your health

Did you know you could have what’s called a ‘silent migraine‘ without actually having a headache?  Surprisingly, migraines can occur without the classic pulsing head pain. In fact, about 3 to 5% of people with chronic migraines experience such headache-free migraines, known as “silent migraines.” But how can you know when you’re having one if you’re not in pain?

Silent Migraine Sufferers’ Profile

Silent migraines occur in older adults who have previously suffered full migraine symptoms, headache and all.

In other cases, adults over age 40 develop these headache-less migraines out of the blue. Here are six names associated with silent migraines:

  • Acephalgic migraine: Acephalgic is the Latin word for “without head pain”
  • Isolated visual migraine
  • Late-onset migraine accompaniment: Occurs when the condition first strikes someone over the age of 40
  • Migraine dissocié: The French name for a migraine that is dissociated from (that is, not related to) headache
  • Migraine equivalent or migraine variant
  • Typical aura without headache

MigraineS

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Have you experienced a Dual Diagnosis?

Dual diagnosis is a term for when someone experiences a mental illness and a substance abuse problem simultaneously. Dual diagnosis is a very broad category. It can range from someone developing mild depression because of binge drinking, to someone’s symptoms of bipolar disorder becoming more severe when that person abuses heroin during periods of mania.

Either substance abuse or mental illness can develop first. A person experiencing a mental health condition may turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of self-medication to improve the troubling mental health symptoms they experience.

Research shows though that drugs and alcohol only make the symptoms of mental health conditions worse. Abusing substances can also lead to mental health problems because of the effects drugs have on a person’s moods, thoughts, brain chemistry and behavior.

See more at:  NAMI.org

Study shows: Chronic Pain showing in adults with Anxiety or Depression

In a survey of adults with anxiety or a mood disorder like depression or bipolar disorder, about half reported experiencing chronic pain, according to researchers at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health. The findings are published online in the Journal of Affective Disorders.

“The dual burden of chronic physical conditions and mood and anxiety disorders is a significant and growing problem,” said Silvia Martins, MD, PhD, associate professor of Epidemiology at the Mailman School of Public Health, and senior author.

The research examined survey data to analyze associations between DSM-IV-diagnosed mood and anxiety disorders and self-reported chronic physical conditions among 5,037 adults in São Paulo, Brazil. Participants were also interviewed in person.

Among individuals with a mood disorder, chronic pain was the most common, reported by 50 percent, followed by respiratory diseases at 33 percent, cardiovascular disease at 10 percent, arthritis reported by 9 percent, and diabetes by 7 percent.

Anxiety disorders were also common for those with chronic pain disorder at 45 percent, and respiratory at 30 percent, as well as arthritis and cardiovascular disease, each 11 percent.

Individuals with two or more chronic diseases had increased odds of a mood or anxiety disorder. Hypertension was associated with both disorders at 23 percent.

“These results shed new light on the public health impact of the dual burden of physical and mental illness,” said Dr. Martins. “Chronic disease coupled with a psychiatric disorder is a pressing issue that health providers should consider when designing preventive interventions and treatment services — especially the heavy mental health burden experienced by those with two or more chronic diseases.”

Article source: ScienceDaily.com

Image: cherished79.com

 

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Welcome – Connecting With Everyone Struggling With All Invisible Illnesses

“Living in Stigma” connects with everyone coping with chronic pain, mental illness, and all invisible illnesses.

My blog Living in Stigma was launched in 2007 and originally dedicated to all of us struggling with mental illness.  I felt as if I was living in stigma with my own major depression.

Many forms of mental illness comprise of DepressionBipolar Disorder, Personality Disorders, PTSD, Eating Disorders, Alzheimer’s disease and much more.

I struggle with both mental illness and chronic migraines, and with news articles, social media, research and valued readers sharing comments and opinions on my blog, it’s a reality that invisible illnesses such as fibromyalgia, lupus, headaches, recurring back and leg pain, and so many more are also a vast portion of invisible illness stigma.  Continue reading

“Frail Thread” – Nayana Nair — it rains in my heart

These lines that connect to my heart, pass through landscapes devoid of human presence. This frail thread passes through valley of flowers that have no color. Through balconies overlooking desolate streets and sky crowded with stars. Through stairs leading to floors that no one visits. Through the branches of old trees broken in the storms. […]

via “Frail Thread” – Nayana Nair — it rains in my heart

The Impact Of Celiac Disease on Mental Health — Slay Girl Society

Here’s a question that you probably don’t consider every day – how does celiac disease impact a person’s mental health? In honour of Celiac Awareness Month (which is ending today!) I wanted to explore this idea a little bit on the blog. So what is celiac disease? According to the Canadian Celiac Association, celiac disease […]

via The Impact Of Celiac Disease on Mental Health — Slay Girl Society

STIGMA – And Mental Illness

What is stigma?

When someone appears to be different than us, we may view him or her in a negative stereotyped manner.  People who have identities that society values negatively are said to be stigmatized.

Stigma is a reality for people with a mental illness, and they report that how others judge them is one of their greatest barriers to a complete and satisfying life.  Society feels uncomfortable about mental illness. It is not seen like other illnesses such as heart disease and cancer.

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Your first appointment with a Psychiatrist, are you prepared?

Reflecting on my first appointment, I was clearly unprepared and this article would have come in handy.  Bringing someone would have helped immensely, and when the pdoc asked if there were any questions, it would have prevented me from sitting there looking stunned. 

This article was written by: Natasha Tracy on Healthyplace.com

Recently, someone wrote me and asked how to best handle a first psychiatric appointment. This is a good question because, essentially, people are walking into the vast unknown. If you’ve never seen a psychiatrist before, how could you possibly know what to expect? And, the kicker of that is, the doctor will be asking you why you’re there. So you’re supposed to know what to say when he says that. So how do you handle your first psychiatric appointment?

Write Down What Concerns You Before Your Psychiatric Appointment

Many people get in front of a psychiatrist a freeze, completely forgetting all the issues that brought them there in the first place. This is extremely common. So, before you head off for your first psychiatric appointment write down all your concerns. Everything that has been odd and everything that you think might be odd should go down on the list, with examples.

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Avoid these 10 foods for Killer Migraines

Image: Living in Stigma cherished79.com

Every day, millions of people across the world suffer from migraine headaches. They come on quickly and viciously and invariably ruin your day. Often, these headaches are caused by certain foods. Knowing which foods are most likely to cause your migraine headaches can provide a vital step in determining what your headache triggers are, and help you avoid these unpleasant episodes in the future.

Alcohol

Red wine is a famous headache trigger, but many people don’t realize that all alcohols, particularly dark liquors, have the potential to be headache triggers. While the causative agents for migraines are not well known, it is postulated that the histamines and tyramines present in alcohol may act to promote headaches. Added to this is the dehydrating effect of drinking alcohol, which, as we all know, can be a surefire way to get a splitting headache.

Caffeine

Headaches are caused not by caffeine itself, but by the withdrawal symptoms experienced afterward. Research indicates that a withdrawal headache can result after ingesting approximately 200 milligrams of caffeine, which amounts to around 2–3 cups of coffee. Stick to just one cup of coffee a day and lay off the cans of coke to avoid these withdrawal headaches.

Cheese

While the research regarding cheese as a migraine precursor is limited, it is thought that aged cheeses such as Swiss, cheddar, Gouda, Parmesan and blue cheese are more likely to give you a headache. This is due to the greater concentrations of tyramine in these cheeses, which forms as the proteins in cheese break down over time.

Monosodium glutamate

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7 Interesting signs showing you are Highly Creative

Creativity knows no bounds. But we as humans are finite, so where does that leave us with creativity?

Truth be told, having the gift to create is not evident to all. It is through our innate and rather inhuman ability to dedicate time and hone our crafts until we achieve awe-inspiring greatness which serves as the true measure of creativity.

While there are starving artists who put value in the quality of their meticulous creations, some are just are as artistic without having to adhere to certain cliches that limit the worldview of what creativity truly means.

In fact, you, dear reader, may be one of these highly creative people who are not fully aware of their gift.

To make sure that you are indeed a creative person, refer to the signs below and see if you exhibit any of these.

1. You like to solve problems

Whether it’s playing sudoku or doing your math homework, both of which require you to flex your problem-solving muscles, your propensity for finding solutions to the problems in front of you is a sign of creative mind. While there is the debate on whether creativity and critical thinking work in the same plane of consciousness, both are nonetheless interconnected because problems let you draw solutions from your knowledge and experience.

2. You are highly motivated

There is a beautiful stubbornness that exists within motivation. While it encourages bull-headedness and a determined mentality, motivation allows us to pursue our passions to the extent of our finiteness, if not beyond it. According to Gordon Torr’s book Managing Creative People, the higher the intrinsic motivation (doing something for its sake), the greater the creativity of that person will be.

Two things define you. Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything.: 3. You are courageous

Success is never achieved overnight. You will have to fail countless of times before getting it right. By the time Thomas Edison was able to develop thousands of patents and created revolutionary devices (which laid the groundwork for the technology we use today), his teachers have told him that he was “stupid to learn anything” and was fired in this first two jobs for not being productivity.

Lesser men would cave in and submit to defeat, but rejection will only fire the courage in creative people like Edison to not only prove their naysayers wrong but also pursue their passions regardless of popular belief.

4. You love playing

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7 Things People Ask When my Mental Illness is Showing

Recluse

I lived for 25 years trying to hide the fact that I am unique. Different.  Broken.  Etc.  Let me tell you, it’s exhausting to run from yourself for so long.  Only my closest family members and friends had been clued in on the details of my mental illness(es).
However, over the past 6 months, I have decided that it’s okay to stop pretending and stop hiding. It’s okay that I’m not perfect.  It’s okay to love myself.  It’s okay.  As a result, I receive many weird looks and questions from people around me.

I really encourage you to ask questions if you love someone who is struggling with mental illness.  Take some time and try to get into their world.  We all experience it differently.  It means something different to each of us.

It means so much to me that people ask me questions, even though some of them are…

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What do you do when someone is talking of suicide?

Thanks for posting this, you could be helping many people with your words of wisdom. I’m proud of you for surviving the hell of mental illness and reaching out for help. Stay strong.

thesassyclover

The last couple of months I have been going through a lot of things. The depression is getting worse and the thoughts of ending my life has been running through my head. Serious thoughts. What did I do? I reached out crying to both of my parents. My dad listens; my mom just stares at me. I tried talking to her today and all she said was that she knows I am going through something and then walked away.


I would never do that to someone. The simple fact that one of my diagnosis’ is Sjrogren syndrome and that means it is hard to produce tears. I rarely can actually cry. The fact I have been crying is a sign that something is wrong and yet, my family just walks away.

I made a promise that I would never end my life. I don’t want my family and friends go…

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Trauma Therapy ~ 4 Important Things to Look For

To heal from trauma means finally dealing with the source of the trauma, whether it’s childhood abuse or neglect, combat experiences, or a natural disaster or a violent assault. How can this be done, however, when trauma provokes such negative and overwhelming feelings – feelings that most try hard to keep safely buried?

Therapy can be a vital step, helping the person feel safe enough to revisit their trauma without being retraumatized in the process. Getting the right support is key, however. Not only is it important to connect with a therapist well-versed in effective therapeutic approaches, it’s also vital to seek out a person with whom you feel a personal connection.

Multiple studies confirm that a person who feels good about their relationship with their therapist is more likely to have a positive outcome. A recent study from Bowling Green State University researchers takes the concept a step further, noting that a deep connection between a therapist and patient can lead to “sacred moments” that increase well-being on both sides.

With that in mind, here are four things to look for to make your therapeutic experience most effective:

Knowledge. Your therapist should, of course, be up to date on treatment options – techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which teaches new ways of thinking of old experiences; neurofeedback, which can help rewire the brain to overcome trauma-induced changes; equine therapy, which can be a helpful supplement for those who find it hard to trust human connections; and EMDR, which can help with the process of moving beyond the past.

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EVER BEEN BLAMED FOR BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED? GRAPHIC CONTENT. POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING.

Trigger Warning!!! Excellent post.

GIRL OUTSPOKEN

I have!

If you have stumbled across this post, well then I’ very sorry, because it probably means you have also been blamed for being sexually abused. I want to share a story with you. A story that is still very hard for me to tell, but if i can help someone who has been through something similar, then that makes this post worth it. It’s a long one, so brace yourself.

IT WASN’T SOMETHING I EVER EXPECTED TO HAPPEN TO ME.

First off, I’m sure all of us who have experienced something like this will know that phrase all too well. lets be honest, no body ever thinks it will happen to them. until it does.

I WAS ALWAYS CAREFUL, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

It doesn’t matter how careful you are, if it’s going to happen, then it will. I was always sensible, never trusted strangers, never did anything…

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Best ways to cope with Panic Attacks

image: pinterest.com consonantlyspeaking.com

A panic attack is a sudden rush of physical symptoms — like shortness of breath, muscle spasms, and nausea — coupled with uncontrollable anxiety and sometimes a sense of impending doom. Visits to the emergency room and desperate late-night phone calls to doctors often result, as do test results that often reveal nothing. If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you can probably empathize with the frustration and hopelessness of not knowing exactly what happened.

By educating yourself about panic attacks, you can begin to gain control of the problem. You don’t have to live in fear and uncertainty any longer. We’ll get you started on your journey toward well-being.

Accepting a panic attack for what it is can help to lessen its effect. To start feeling in control of your anxiety, make an appointment with your doctor and get a full physical exam. This will help you focus your approach, as you’ll find out for certain that you’re coping with panic attacks and not some other ailment. A clean bill of health can also help alleviate irrational fears of dying and doom, which can surface during a panic attack.

Also, your doctor can differentiate between occasional panic attacks and a more serious panic disorder, which may require professional treatment and possibly medication. Working with your doctor, you can also determine if you have a genetic susceptibility to panic attacks and if your episodes are triggered in part by other conditions, such as a thyroid disorder or lactose sensitivity.

Recognize the Symptoms of a Panic Attack

Familiarizing yourself with panic attack symptoms can help you feel more in control while one’s happening. Once you realize you’re experiencing a panic attack and not a heart attack, allergic reaction, or some other serious ailment, you can focus on techniques for calming yourself.

Being able to recognize it for what it is will help you decide what action to take to overcome it.

Although symptoms differ from person to person, and only a trained professional can provide a definite diagnosis, some common ones include:

  • Irregular heartbeat
  • Dizziness and lightheadedness
  • Shortness of breath
  • Choking sensations and nausea
  • Shaking and sweating
  • Fatigue and weakness
  • Chest pain and heartburn
  • Muscle spasms
  • Hot flashes or sudden chills
  • Tingling sensations in your extremities
  • A fear that you’re going crazy
  • A fear that you might die or be seriously ill

Source: Tips to Cope with a Panic Attack

 

Insomnia connection with Fibromyalgia Pain Explored

Life with Fibromyalgia:

Patients coping with the complex (pain disorder) fibromyalgia often have difficulty sleeping, and a new study published in The Journal of Pain reports that despite the negative quality of life implications, poor sleep is not a significant predictor of fibromyalgia pain intensity and duration.

The complexity of fibromyalgia as a pain disorder is rooted in the variable, patient-to-patient, influence of physical, psychological, social factors that contribute to clinical pain, and their influence often is difficult to understand. Previous research has shown that variables such as negative mood and the number of localized pain areas are significant predictors of clinical pain in fibromyalgia patients.

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My tryst with Corticosteroids

This post describes another painful invisible illness and includes the medication to treat the disease and the negative side effects.

My Shaitani Keeda

Neurocysticercosis and its Treatment: Pardon me, if you find this post somewhat boring. I will try my best not to bombard it with a whole lot of medical terms. Trust me that even I don’t understand these terms any better than you.

To begin with, Neurocysticercosis (the medical condition that I am suffering from) causes a lesion in the brain with perilesional edema. Edema is the medical term used for swelling. As a part of treatment, the patient needs to take anti-seizures medicines such as Levipil regularly. I will put more stress on the word REGULARLY, because skipping it can be life threatening (that is what my neurologist has told me).  Alongside, the patient is asked to repeat MRIs every few months to keep the swelling in check. If some swelling is noticed,  the patient is put on oral steroids (corticosteroids) for a certain period of time.

My first…

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The Narcissist and their Mirror

A well-written post on the ‘Controlling Narcissist’.

One Dove's Tale

I believe people come into our lives for a reason. They come to teach us lessons, a different view in life, reveal to us our shadows, or maybe to strengthen us. When you endure an abusive relationship it’s hard to understand what that person could possibly bring into your life, other than pain. My ex brought all these things into my life; along with terror, gaslighting, c-ptsd, and a broken spirit. I went through a period where I hated him for everything I was going through. I hated him when I had to mourn a made up fairytale that was all just a mirage. I hated him when I had to ride the grueling waves of stockholm syndrome. I hated him for claiming to be a Christian and using God as a way to intimidate, degrade and abuse me. Most of all, I hated that I wasted any of my…

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Little Girl

LITTLE GIRL

Hey, little girl, I saw you with that man

what were you doing, letting him have his way

didn’t you know it was wrong, why didn’t you stop it?

you could have said no, but you still let it happen

what’s wrong with you? how could you not know?

~~~~

I tried to say no, he was bigger than me

yet he made me feel wanted and special for once

I was his “princess” and he said I “danced like an angel”

and I was invisible to everyone else

even though it hurt, it was worth the warm feelings

that I craved so much, and he granted me so lovingly

but then came anguish and pain

~~~~

Finally, I did try to tell, but no one would listen

the words came out, yet no words were heard

no one will really know

that my mind and my heart

died back then

I was little and

I didn’t know how to say no

_______________________________________________________

Written & copyright Deb McCarthy/2017

*I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and it feels so much better to be able to say ‘survivor’ rather than ‘victim’ now.

PTSD ~ Are you the Black Sheep of your family? I know I sure am

QPTSDSHEEP5-18

That was me, the black sheep in our family of four. There was only me and my brother, he was treated like gold, the golden child, while I….you get the picture.  My brother and I were having lunch one day and these words stung “I don’t know why you have problems with Mom, we must have lived in different houses because I never saw any of this”.

On their PsychCentral.com blog, this article, written by: Jonice Webb, Ph.D, explains:

I’ve met many Black Sheep. It’s my job.

In a recent post called Black Sheep, I talked about some common myths, and how Black Sheep are not what they appear to be. Surprisingly, they are simply a product of family dynamics.

But today, Black Sheep, I have three messages just for you:

1. Research Supports You Continue reading

Did you know that Friendship can ruin Therapy?

The therapist I worked with for seven years was amazing, we dealt with some extremely emotional issues including PTSD sexual abuse and maternal narcissism.  She validated my feelings and showed the kind of empathy that I’d never received as a child, therefore, I often craved her as a friend while in therapy.  I soon understood boundaries, and realized it just wouldn’t work; therapy isn’t friendship

A friend told me of an occurrence where friendship ruined the relationship with her and her therapist.  She had been meeting “X” every 3 weeks for roughly 2 years, drudging through many agonizing, uncomfortable, personal issues and trusted “X” entirely with what she disclosed, more than with any other therapist.

When she was pregnant with her second child, also experiencing difficulties with her spouse, “X” was there to convey her thoughts to.  By the time the baby was to arrive, they worked through marital issues, which alleviated the situation at home and for her.

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Chronic Migraines ~ What’s with the Facial Pain?

This article was most interesting to me as many of my migraine pain areas are in portions of my face, where sight is impaired and the pain is excruciating. 

YES, THIS IS PART OF FIBROMYALGIA TOO , nerve pain in face and teeth,its never ending!!!:

Trigeminal Nerves

If you look at the entire nervous system only about 20% of the input to the brain comes from the spinal column! The other 80% comes from twelve sets of cranial nerves. Here is where it gets tricky. 70% of that 80% comes from the trigeminal nerve. The trigeminal nerve is important because it provides nerve stimulation to some very important parts of the head and face such as:

  • The muscles that move the jaw
  • The lining of the sinuses
  • The temporal mandibular (TM) joints
  • The teeth
  • The muscle that tenses the ear drum
  • The joint that connects the teeth to the jaws
  • The control of the blood flow to the anterior (front) of the brain.
  • The tongue
  • The ear canal

Take a good look at this list…how many of you have complaints of ear problems? Toothaches? Sinus problems? Migraines? Jaw Pain? How many of you have been to multiple doctors and have been told that there was “nothing” wrong?

The trigeminal nerve has three branches Continue reading

Mother, Do you deserve a Card? PTSD – Survivors of Abuse

As an unloved daughter of a narcissistic mother, the cards or flowers I handed to her with ‘love’ throughout the years were given with the expectations and desires that one day she would hug me with love.  Giving her a card each year was presented or mailed with a fake smile or strained “Love you always mom.”

She by no means ever deserved a card, lunch or dinner out, and especially a visit when I was an adult.  When I moved across the country, there was one year I ‘neglected’ to send a card or call.  This resulted in a ‘hissyfit,’ possibly threw one of her notorious tantrums including tears, resulting with my father phoning me, blasting “how could you treat your mother like this?”  I can’t recall my reply, but more than likely, I said I was sorry.

A few days passed, and what do I receive in the mail, a multi-page letter from my mother ranting how self-centred I am, this is the way I treat her after everything she’s done for me throughout my life, took care of me, and will sever our relationship now.  This was due to not sending a card?

To be honest, I feel jealous of others who have/had a wonderful mother.

So to all of those who are survivors of narcissistic emotional abuse, or never received the kind of motherly care, empathy, encouragement, and love; this post is dedicated to you. You are all Warriors!

Hugs,
Deb