PTSD ~ Are you the Black Sheep of your family? I know I sure am

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That was me, the black sheep in our family of four. There was only me and my brother, he was treated like gold, the golden child, while I….you get the picture.  My brother and I were having lunch one day and these words stung “I don’t know why you have problems with Mom, we must have lived in different houses because I never saw any of this”.

On their PsychCentral.com blog, this article, written by: Jonice Webb, Ph.D, explains:

I’ve met many Black Sheep. It’s my job.

In a recent post called Black Sheep, I talked about some common myths, and how Black Sheep are not what they appear to be. Surprisingly, they are simply a product of family dynamics.

But today, Black Sheep, I have three messages just for you:

1. Research Supports You Continue reading

Are you bullied by your Children?

I found this article interesting, as my husband and I frequently comment on the way children behave while out in public places, and how different times are compared to how strict our parents were with us.  Last week, we seldom eat out and our dinner was spoiled at a restaurant (not fast food), where children from three different families were either screaming or running everywhere.  In my opinion, the kids aren’t at fault; it’s the parents.

Have you ever seen a child bully or boss around his parents? A child who talks down to them, disrespects or even mocks them? Embarrassing, isn’t it?

A generation or two ago, it would have been unthinkable for children to bully their parents. Today, nearly everyone knows a parent who is bullied by his or her child. Pay a visit to your local playground or stroll through a shopping mall. You’re bound to see the bullied parent dynamic in action.

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“Lucy Shares Some Secrets” (children’s book)

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Childhood Emotional Neglect and Narcissism

I’ve always been curious about writing children’s books and this is my first attempt.  My goal here was to create a book, that would have allowed me at age 8 to realize that my mother’s anger was there and how sad and lonely I felt.  The way she treated me was unfair, and I craved to tell someone who would believe me and validate my feelings.

However, I grew up in the 60’s and back then we didn’t have access to teachers, school guidance counsellors, neighbours or a therapist available for our chances to trust and come forward with sad or scared feelings.

Perhaps a young child now may read this and choose to trust a teacher, or friend or someone whom they can share what emotions they are holding inside.

Lucy is beginning to observe how terribly her mom has been treating her lately. She’s puzzled, she can’t understand why her mom continues to name her stupid and clumsy when she struggles so hard to please her mom. She just feels she’s never good enough.  She holds her emotions inside, never telling anyone how she is feeling.

Read this Free book ” Lucy Shares Some Secrets

I was able to use the tools and platform from StoryJumper.com.

Childhood Abuses: Sometimes emotional more harmful than sexual or physical

I can identify with this article, as I too was emotionally and sexually abused.  Because of the sexual abuse, I’m still pondering if the emotional abuse would have still taken place or if that was the reason.  My mother was toxic, what spewed out of her mouth was hurtful, undeserved and damaging;  I still hear those words in my mind today.  ~~ Deb

Children who are emotionally abused and neglected face similar and sometimes worse mental health problems as children who are physically or sexually abused, yet psychological abuse is rarely addressed in prevention programs or in treating victims, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association.

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Imagine your child handcuffed in school because of ADHD?

Officer sued after handcuffing school children with ADHD

Now this is taking things too far, the child now thinks he’s a criminal for a disorder that isn’t even his fault.

FRANKFORT, Ky. — Two northern Kentucky women have sued a county sheriff and one of his school resource officers for placing their two disabled elementary school children in handcuffs.

The 8-year-old boy and the 9-year-old girl and their mothers are identified in the lawsuit only by their initials. The children have both been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The lawsuit says school officials asked School Resource Officer Kevin Sumner to help after the children were being disruptive in class. A report from the sheriff’s office says the children tried to hit Sumner.

The lawsuit says Sumner placed the handcuffs around the children’s biceps behind their backs.

A spokesman for the Kenton County Sheriff’s Office said Sheriff Charles Korzenborn had not been notified of the lawsuit and declined to comment. An attorney for Sumner said he acted appropriately.

Are you bullied by your Children?

I found this article interesting, as my husband and I frequently comment on the way children behave while out in public places, and how different times are compared to how strict our parents were with us.  Last week, we seldom eat out and our dinner was spoiled at a restaurant (not fast food), where children from three different families were either screaming or running everywhere.  In my opinion, the kids aren’t at fault; it’s the parents.

Have you ever seen a child bully or boss around his parents? A child who talks down to them, disrespects or even mocks them? Embarrassing, isn’t it?

A generation or two ago, it would have been unthinkable for children to bully their parents. Today, nearly everyone knows a parent who is bullied by his or her child. Pay a visit to your local playground or stroll through a shopping mall. You’re bound to see the bullied parent dynamic in action.

Continue reading

Narcissistic Parents – The most harmful kind of parent

This well-written article is from::   on PsychCentral.com/Psychoanalysis Now (blog)

Over the years I have often been asked what is the most harmful thing a parent can do to a child. There are many harmful things a parent can do, too many to point out. It is easier to focus on the kind of parent that does most harm.

The most harmful parents are the parents who have a narcissistic need to think of themselves as great parents. Because of this need, they are unable to look at their parenting in an objective way. And they are unable to hear their children’s complaints about their parenting.

Such parents indoctrinate their children from an early age to think of their parents in only the most positive ways. Any other kind of thinking is considered family treason. If any of their children develop behavioral problems, they see such problems as an accusation of their parenting. Their response is, “Why am I so unlucky as to have this bad seed?” Not for a moment do they ever consider that anything they did might have had an effect on their children.

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AND YOU THINK YOUR HUG MAKES UP FOR SLAPPING ME ACROSS THE FACE?

Some things hugs can’t fix: Parental warmth does not remove anxiety that follows punishment

A loving mom can’t overcome the anxiety and aggression caused by corporal punishment, and her otherwise warm demeanor may make it worse, according to research led by Duke University that was recently published in the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology.

 “If you believe that you can shake your children or slap them across the face and then smooth things over gradually by smothering them with love, you are mistaken,” wrote lead researcher Jennifer E. Lansford on the Child and Family Blog.  Lansford is a research professor at the Social Science Research Institute at Duke University.  “Being very warm with a child whom you hit in this manner rarely makes things better.  It can make a child more, not less, anxious.”

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Is Face-to-Face Bullying Worse Than Cyberbullying?

Face-to-face bullying is more cruel and harsh than online attacks, a survey of school students found. The findings of this study indicate that significantly more victims perceived traditional bullying to be more harsh and cruel than cyberbullying. “It clearly indicates the feelings of the children and the very real threat they have of being physically harmed by another child,” the lead investigator said.

The study showed 59 percent of the children participants felt face-to-face bullying was worse for them than being cyberbullied.  Twenty-six per cent reported that both forms of bullying were equally hurtful and the remaining 15 per cent perceived cyberbullying to be worse.

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Bullying May Have Lasting Health Effects on Kids

Kids who are picked on by their peers may see lasting effects on their physical and mental well-being — especially if the bullying is allowed to persist for years, a new study suggests.

The study found that kids who are chronically bullied seem to fare the worst:  Those continually picked on from fifth grade to 10th grade had the lowest scores on measures of physical and emotional health.  Kids who were bullied at a younger age but saw the problem fade tended to do better.  But they were still worse off than their peers who’d never been victimized.

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Risk Factors in Personality Disorders

More women than men develop borderline personality disorder. But men are much more likely than women to have antisocial personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCD).

Other risk factors for personality disorders include:

~ A history of childhood verbal, physical or sexual abuse

~ A family history of schizophrenia

~ A family history of personality disorders

~ A childhood head injury

~ An unstable family life

Source for this article:  MayoClinic.com