Recalling my childhood, my mother seldom had any positive or encouraging words for me, mainly heartless or cruel remarks, only criticizing me for one thing or another spewed from her mouth. She was continually displeased, and only now recognizing that it would be impossible to accomplish ever pleasing this woman.
I was thinking the other day, what words would myself and perhaps others wish their narcissistic moms compassionately said to them.
Mom, if only you could have said:
~I know you don’t lie I believe you
~Always come to me when you’re upset or angry, I love you
~I’ll always believe in you, whatever your dreams are
~Let’s just have a girl’s day out once in a while, your choice, whatever you want
~You look so cute in those clothes
~Don’t focus on body image, it’s what’s inside
~You’re more important to me than anything
~I’m so damn proud of you.
~I love reading your stories/artwork/playing games
~You smell so nice and clean
~Don’t always spend time in your bedroom, we should spend more time together
~Your feelings matter and you have a right to your opinion, I’m not always right and remember, we all make mistakes
~You look like something is bothering you, want to talk about it?
~Let me take care of you when you’re so sick, how about hot tea? Or I’ll sit beside you, or we’ll lay in bed together
~Sure, have your friends over anytime, they are always welcome
~You’re so precious to me, having a daughter is a blessing
~Anything you want to ask me, go right ahead
~I love the way you laugh
~I’m sorry, it’s my fault, not yours/my mistake, sorry I made you feel bad
~You are worthy, don’t let anyone make you feel or tell you you’re not
~Someone will be a lucky man to have you as his wife
~I want to just hug you, and keep hugging you, big bear hugs
~I’ve got the best daughter a mother could have
Written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy/2019
(edited and reposted)
It’s heartbreaking that you had such criticism and negativity from your mum. It’s a shame too that all mom’s can’t or don’t say all of these things. I guess we learn what we wish we were told and can tell our own children those things, if we ever have children of our own, or that we can try to fill some of the gaps and reassure ourselves of these things as adults. xx
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HI, thanks for commenting. Yes, sometimes we don’t realize the words we say to children, but most of all it’s the positive words from our mothers that reinforce how we feel about ourselves spoken from the person who brought us into this world that comfort us the most.
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