Narcissistic Parenting – From the ‘roots’ up

A Narcissistic Parent will drench fresh water on their golden child s plant daily yet merely permitting the scapegoat child s plant to receive tiny sprinkles of water on the odd day forever shadowed by the sun Deb McCarthy

I learned this bit of wisdom from my therapist during one of our many sessions discussing my narcissistic mother.  She explained it very clearly how a parent has children (plants); she waters some and helps them grow and flourish, yet the others who aren’t so lucky receive less attention and ignored.  I now understood how my mother cared and treated my brother vs. myself.   Do any of you feel this way?

(This was very popular when first posted in April/2017, being one of the favorite quotes I wrote about narcissistic mothers.)

21 thoughts on “Narcissistic Parenting – From the ‘roots’ up

  1. I recommend reading “Mothers who can’t love” By Dr. Susan Forward. EXCELLENT book for those coping with the aftermath of mother’s (narcissist and other types) specifically with real strategies and therapy sessions in the boom!

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  2. I totally understand, growing up with my sister I knew there was a difference in the way she treated both of us, but it was until recently that I realized she failed to care for me and neglected me all she could, which is what inspired my last poem. Thanks for sharing those words, xx

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    1. Yes, and you don’t realize it until later in life. I know my mother drilled it into my head that my brother and I were treated exactly the same and I was just jealous of him. Nope, sorry mother, you are a narcissist and I was treated like crap. Thanks for commenting. 🙂

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      1. CrazyandSane

        It’s a great way to understand it. Bloody awful shitty parents, truly fuck us up! I’ve just posted a blog on abuse. I hope you enjoy it. Useless bastards…sorry . And sorry your shitty Mother was such a bitch. I had the same! x x

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    1. I’m so happy it helped because it sure helped me understand the nasty and cruel way my mother treated me since I was a child. I could never figure out why I pissed her off all of the time, and now I know why – I was doomed from the beginning because I was a daughter and not a son. Thanks for your comment. Remember, you’re no longer a victim, you are a survivor and best of all a Warrior. 🙂

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  3. Yes, I feel this way, too. I was the scapegoat beginning in the 1950s and I am the scapegoat still. But it’s ok, now that I havestopped going back to that bone dry well, looking for love from a now elderly mother who never did love me and never will love me. It took me a lot of decades to get to this point, though!

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    1. Ditto for me. It took me 50 years to find out the name for her viciousness was the “narcissistic personality disorder”, and as soon as I was born a daughter, I believed she hated and resented me. How can you win? I finally went NO CONTACT just 3 years ago. I couldn’t take it anymore, realized nothing would change and wanted nothing more to do with her. Best choice I ever made. I’m sorry you had to experience the same abuse, it’s a sad and painful way to grow up always believing that you were the cause of her rage. Hugs to you. Deb xx

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