PTSD ~ Are you the Black Sheep of your family? I know I sure am

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That was me, the black sheep in our family of four. There was only me and my brother, he was treated like gold, the golden child, while I….you get the picture.  My brother and I were having lunch one day and these words stung “I don’t know why you have problems with Mom, we must have lived in different houses because I never saw any of this”.

On their PsychCentral.com blog, this article, written by: Jonice Webb, Ph.D, explains:

I’ve met many Black Sheep. It’s my job.

In a recent post called Black Sheep, I talked about some common myths, and how Black Sheep are not what they appear to be. Surprisingly, they are simply a product of family dynamics.

But today, Black Sheep, I have three messages just for you:

1. Research Supports You

First, let’s talk about the power of exclusion. We all tend to underestimate it.

But a study by O’Reilly, Robinson and Berdahl, 2014 proved otherwise. These researchers compared the effects of workplace ostracism (being excluded or ignored) with bullying.

They found that office workers view ostracizing a co-worker as more socially acceptable than bullying him or her. But surprisingly, they found that ostracized workers suffer more than bullied ones. In fact, ostracized workers are actually more likely to leave their jobs than are their bullied colleagues.

If the exclusion is this harmful to adults in their workplace, imagine how it affects a vulnerable child in his family, during the time that his identity is developing.

Imagine how it affected you.

More on this article @

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2015/06/a-message-to-all-the-black-sheep-in-the-world/

12 thoughts on “PTSD ~ Are you the Black Sheep of your family? I know I sure am

  1. BelleUnruh says:

    It must have been awful hearing those words. You are right, words hurt very much.

    I was the back sheep because I was the only kid who gave my parents trouble when I was a wild teenager. I am also the only one my father molested. Two of my sisters were molested by my father’s brother when he came to visit.

    My mother always had favorites. First it was my brother; after he died it was my youngest sister. It was so obvious – even without words! Now, because I’m looking after her, I am the favorite. This means nothing to me. I want her to love us all the same.

    Liked by 1 person

    • cherished79 says:

      I’m sorry you had to experience the same abuse also, especially coming from the people we are supposed to look for guidance and care. Thanks for sharing, and it really has an impact later in life recalling horrific childhood memories. You are a true warrior 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. susieshy45 says:

    Great thoughts. Coincidentally this is a conversation my daughter and I had a few minutes back and I just came up to open wordpress and I read this post- talk of coincidences.
    I have always been different. I was taller, hungrier, bigger, noisier, naughtier, everything you can think of, different from others in my family. I was not the black sheep as I was very much the beloved too.
    After marriage, I have been thought of as odd by my husband, my children sometimes, my inlaws for sure and a lot of other people.
    i like being different because I think there is no fun in being the same.
    We different people have a lot of fun.
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

    • cherished79 says:

      So true, and when you are in the home, you ask yourself, why am I not prettier, smarter, thinner, make something of myself etc?. There is always a comparison, and after you leave the home for adulthood, you are still hearing those same words. Words really hurt. Thanks for commenting. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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