Mother, Do you deserve a Card? PTSD – Survivors of Abuse

As an unloved daughter of a narcissistic mother, the cards or flowers I handed to her with ‘love’ throughout the years were given with the expectations and desires that one day she would hug me with love.  Giving her a card each year was presented or mailed with a fake smile or strained “Love you always mom.”

She by no means ever deserved a card, lunch or dinner out, and especially a visit when I was an adult.  When I moved across the country, there was one year I ‘neglected’ to send a card or call.  This resulted in a ‘hissyfit,’ possibly threw one of her notorious tantrums including tears, resulting with my father phoning me, blasting “how could you treat your mother like this?”  I can’t recall my reply, but more than likely, I said I was sorry.

A few days passed, and what do I receive in the mail, a multi-page letter from my mother ranting how self-centred I am, this is the way I treat her after everything she’s done for me throughout my life, took care of me, and will sever our relationship now.  This was due to not sending a card?

To be honest, I feel jealous of others who have/had a wonderful mother.

So to all of those who are survivors of narcissistic emotional abuse, or never received the kind of motherly care, empathy, encouragement, and love; this post is dedicated to you. You are all Warriors!

Hugs,
Deb

13 thoughts on “Mother, Do you deserve a Card? PTSD – Survivors of Abuse

  1. Ithank you for posting this. For are I struggled with mothers day. This was the first year (we have mothers day in march in UK) where I missed my mum and was excited to send her a present. Now we have come to a point of understanding and it is amazing having her back in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These days I give to my Mum with less resentment than I have in the past. My Mum never makes demands and is grateful to us for showing care of her. She did emotionally neglect me at times, it was a lot of work to realise that, but some Mums are so toxic its not fair to have to fate them with a pretend love that was never returned. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for this post. I agree completely with acknowledging some of us DIDN’T have as great a Mum as the ‘Mother Myth’ pressures us to have, and some of them were downright abusive and cruel. I hope you treated yourself well : ) I’m glad I found your blog, from gabrielle in Australia : )

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