Maternal Narcissism ~ Mom, only wishing you could have said these words to me…

They burned the bridge, then ask why I don't visit. | unluckymonster made this with

Recalling my childhood, my mother seldom had any positive or encouraging words for me, mainly heartless or cruel remarks, only criticizing me for one thing or another spewed from her mouth. She was continually displeased, and only now recognizing that it would be impossible to accomplish ever pleasing this woman.

I was thinking the other day, what words would myself and perhaps others wish their narcissistic moms compassionately said to them.

Mom, if only you could have said:

~I know you don’t lie, of course, I believe you

~Always come to me when you’re upset or angry, I love you

~I’ll always believe in you, whatever your dreams are

~Let’s just have a girl’s day out once in a while, your choice, whatever you want

~You look so cute in those clothes

~Don’t focus on body image, it’s what’s inside

~You’re more important to me than anything

~I’m so damn proud of you.

~I love reading your stories/artwork/playing games

~You smell so nice and clean

~Don’t always spend time in your bedroom, we should spend more time together

~Your feelings matter you have a right to your opinion, I’m not always right and remember, we all make mistakes

~You look like something is bothering you, want to talk about it?

~Let me take care of you when you’re so sick, how about hot tea? Or I’ll sit beside you or we’ll lay in bed together

~Sure, have your friends over anytime, they are always welcome

~You’re so precious to me, having a daughter is a blessing

~Anything you want to ask me, go right ahead

~I love the way you laugh

~I’m sorry, it’s my fault, not yours/my mistake sorry I made you feel bad

~You are worthy, don’t let anyone make you feel that you are not

~Someone is going to be a lucky man to have you as his wife

~I want to just hug you, and keep hugging you

~I’ve got the best daughter a mother could have

Written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy/2017

8 thoughts on “Maternal Narcissism ~ Mom, only wishing you could have said these words to me…

  1. I echo these sentiments. Before I understood what I’d experienced I used to hang up from phone calls with my mom and just cry but have no clue why. She said some of the things on the list but her words have a fuse attached and explode later because they’re often disconnected from what she really meant to say. I’ve come to understand her personality is not a reflection of something unloveable in me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You always imagine you are the only one who has a mother who makes you feel so unworthy, you look at other girls/womens mothers and they are different. My first Child, a Son, I just longed and ached for my mother to come out with me and her Grandson in his Pram, just once, no she was always too busy polishing. Just to go Christmas shopping with me and her two Grandsons, like other womens mothers, one holds back the tears. Then you hear and read blogs like yours and you know “it was not me”. When my mother died and I said “goodbye” to her she was in bed, she turned her head and grunted at me like she always did, then I felt this tremendous weight lift off me, I was at last Free, by then in my fifties and Widowed myself, I try so hard not to look back. People like you and your blog help. Thank you.

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    1. You do feel as if you’re the only one who has a mother who shows no empathy or love during your entire life – only cruelty. You then accept this as how it’s supposed to be, yet at the same time jealous when visiting a friend’s house and that mother is showering her child with love and praise. I still crave her love and continue in therapy at age 60 because it has had such an impact on me throughout my lifetime. For you also, that is one of the precious moments in a woman’s life, to have her mother participate and truly exicted about her grandchildren but instead, she is snubbed (she was making a point that she didn’t want to be involved). That hurts. So sad, but you were free at the end. A true warrrior. Hugs, xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You are entitled to all these. Most mothers adore their daughters. There are exceptional cases. A child’s bright future depends upon the encouragement given by the parents. To some extent, my mother fits the description you have given of your mother. But, my grandmother (my mother’s mother) compensated this to a great extent. Her husband, (my mother’s father) could speak English very well and my grandmother encouraged me to learn the language well. She told me it would give me power. (My grandfather had died when I turned two) My love for this language started from there. What I suggest to you is to shake off the past unpleasant experiences, to forgive your mother and become the master of yourself and your destiny. Start living now.

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