I’ve consulted a few therapists over the years, and it’s always been advised to “give it some time”, but just how long do you “give it”? I prefer not to ‘therapist hop’, however, even after a few sessions I can sense if this is the therapist for me. I’ve been with the therapist I have now for almost 6 years and knew almost immediately it was a ‘good fit’.
I found this article in Psychcentral.com interesting.
Having been on both sides of the couch I will say this … as a therapist I felt if someone didn’t like me, which always happens sometimes, that’s their perogative, and they are probably not going to be as comfortable working with me. I would never expect them to, although sometimes they didn’t need (to like me) and sometimes they grew to (like me) but often their gut-instinct that they did not like me for any number of reasons (gender/dress/appearance/age/accent etc) was valid and a reason to try someone else.
As a client, if I met a person I really didn’t like as a therapist I would listen to my gut instinct and not return. If I felt this happened a lot, I would question if it was anything unreasonable on my part or I set my standards too high to avoid doing the work. In the past the reason I did not like a therapist and did not return had more to do with a cavalier attitude, where they did not seem to care at all and were just going through the motions, I also didn’t like a couple of men because they were a bit leery. It does take time but I agree w/u that you should go with your gut ultimately. xo (great post!)
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Interesting looking at it from both sides. I’ve often wondered what if a therapist didn’t want to work with a client. We are human beings, and although a therapist should respect people regardless of race, religion etc, how would that work? I feel a certain “not a good fit” from the first or second visit, however, I do give it a chance before quitting. For trauma work, the first therapist I had was inexperienced and caused chaos for me, and I believe she was way over her head handling PTSD.
Thanks for commenting. Hugs 🙂
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I went through two very disturbing psychiatrists and two very strange therapists before finding the ones I like now. No use waiting money for something you don’t need. Thank you for the link
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It’s difficult to judge if the therapist will it be helpful or not, and how many sessions will it take to find out. It also took a few therapists for me, including one who I thought needed therapy of her own, before finding the one I had for 7 years. It was an experienced trauma therapist that worked out in the end, and I recall from the get go that she was going to work for me. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
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I feel like the first visit usually tells a lot about whether it’s a good fit or not
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Sometimes you can tell right away if something is not a good fit. Better to cut one’s losses fast and move on to something better.
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It does take time to find out, yet the first visit does give a certain feel and you should go with your gut. Thanks for commenting.
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