7 Things to do after you find out he is cheating
You’ve just learned the unthinkable: Your significant other cheated on you.
It’s the twist every one of us in a committed relationship dreads facing the most, and now it’s happening to you. Your mind is reeling, your heart is racing, and you’re hurting so much, you’re not sure you can go on. But you have to.
Believe it or not, there are things you can do — productive, healthy things — when you find out your husband or boyfriend has betrayed you in the worst possible way: by being with someone else. At a time like this, when you’re in complete shock, denial, disbelief and pain, it’s all you can do to wake up in the morning and get out of bed. But there are other ways to cope with such a devastating revelation.
Here are seven steps to take when you find out he cheated on you.
1. Decide whether you want to stay with him or not and whether your relationship is worth saving
This will take some time after you’ve processed what happened. One way to figure out whether you should stay together and fight for your love is, to be honest about the type of man he is and the sort of betrayal involved. If he’s not the kind of guy who strays and it seems like it was a one-shot deal, you should try giving him another chance. Ditto if he confesses the affair or at least apologizes profusely and seems genuinely remorseful once you find out about it.
“Slip-ups happen, but the good news is that when they truly are slip-ups, they’re survivable,” William July, the author of Confessions of an Ex-Bachelor, tells Cosmo.
But if he’s done this before, this was more than just a one-time thing (i.e., it was an actual full-blown affair or romantic relationship with someone else), it happened with his ex, or he doesn’t seem the least bit sorry, think long and hard before choosing to stick it out.
2. Talk it out
“If you decide that you do want to work things out with your guy, you’re going to need to really talk about what happened and why licensed sex psychotherapist Vanessa Marin tells Bustle. “What was he feeling … and how did he feel after it happened? I know this step might feel excruciatingly painful, but it’s important for you to hear him out.”
Likewise, your guy “needs to hear what you have to say too” when it comes to your feelings about his infidelity, she says. “He has to understand how his actions hurt you and willing to give your emotions some time and space.”
3. Take a break from each other
This might seem like it could do more harm than good, but even a short break from all contact with your husband or boyfriend after he’s been unfaithful can help you regroup and guide you on where to go from here. Without the distraction and hurt that comes with talking to him, especially right after you find out about the cheating, you can begin working through it all with a clearer head.
Article continues @ sheknows.com
***In my opinion, this article shows the male not understanding the impact of broken trust or taking it seriously enough and let off too easily.
Originally posted on my blog https://niume.com/post/183698