I am a Mental Health Advocate for mental illness Stigma. In 2007, I created the "Living in Stigma" blog, with the purpose and anticipation of educating people about mental illness. Depression is part of this illness, which intertwines with those struggling with PTSD, chronic pain, and other invisible illnesses. I am a chronic migraine sufferer myself, and a sexual and emotional abuse survivor. My passions are writing, poetry, and art. All abuse Survivors are also Warriors.
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9 thoughts on “Narcissism ~ Should we forgive the abuser?”
I’ve never heard it put better and expressed so perfectly. Thank you
Me neither, and it’s usually said the other way, “Forgive” and you will be better, but he is explaining his reasons not to forgiving. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Really good video. My Dad was NPD; and luckily for me he died when I was 30. What happened? I beautifully empowered young man began to grow. You’re right though. I didn’t forgive him, I forgave myself for allowing myself to be treated in that fashion. I also tried to understand the lifestyle he had during his youth, and it wasn’t pretty. I try hard not to judge. Because I wonder how I would be if presented with his youth. But, in the same fashion I will never forgive.
The hardest part was realising that he didn’t want me, or cared for me. I was an extension for society to go look! Look how awesome I am, I have the son that’s doing great. But, like you say, time healed it. That and he’d dead. No contact 🙂
I feel the same about forgiveness, and that is I will never forgive my mother for her abuse during my childhood. Just in the past year have I discovered what narcissism really means and she that never loved me, cared about me and never will. It’s hard to accept, but that’s the way it is. Yes, and NO CONTACT would have saved me years of grief. I thought this video was very informative. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
TRIGGER WARNING: This guy’s videos are incredibly good, but VERY intense. Still, I can’t stop watching them. Sage advice from a survivor of narcissistic abuse.
I know, I keep watching them also, but he has really explained some things that I never understood about my NM, and watching his videos has explained much more than what I’ve read so far about certain aspects of narc. I watched one on “NO CONTACT”, really instills, ‘no contact’ to anyone that is still in a relationship with a narc and thinking about getting out. Wish I would have seen that before I stepped into shark infested waters the last time I tried to reconcile.
I’ve never heard it put better and expressed so perfectly. Thank you
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Me neither, and it’s usually said the other way, “Forgive” and you will be better, but he is explaining his reasons not to forgiving. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
LikeLike
Really good video. My Dad was NPD; and luckily for me he died when I was 30. What happened? I beautifully empowered young man began to grow. You’re right though. I didn’t forgive him, I forgave myself for allowing myself to be treated in that fashion. I also tried to understand the lifestyle he had during his youth, and it wasn’t pretty. I try hard not to judge. Because I wonder how I would be if presented with his youth. But, in the same fashion I will never forgive.
The hardest part was realising that he didn’t want me, or cared for me. I was an extension for society to go look! Look how awesome I am, I have the son that’s doing great. But, like you say, time healed it. That and he’d dead. No contact 🙂
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I feel the same about forgiveness, and that is I will never forgive my mother for her abuse during my childhood. Just in the past year have I discovered what narcissism really means and she that never loved me, cared about me and never will. It’s hard to accept, but that’s the way it is. Yes, and NO CONTACT would have saved me years of grief. I thought this video was very informative. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Lucky Otter's Haven and commented:
TRIGGER WARNING: This guy’s videos are incredibly good, but VERY intense. Still, I can’t stop watching them. Sage advice from a survivor of narcissistic abuse.
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I know, I keep watching them also, but he has really explained some things that I never understood about my NM, and watching his videos has explained much more than what I’ve read so far about certain aspects of narc. I watched one on “NO CONTACT”, really instills, ‘no contact’ to anyone that is still in a relationship with a narc and thinking about getting out. Wish I would have seen that before I stepped into shark infested waters the last time I tried to reconcile.
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This guy’s videos are GREAT–but I agree with you they can be VERY intense and triggering!
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Thanks for the link. 🙂
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