my child within


The feelings of sadness, shame and being criticised in our childhood by our caregivers aren’t forgotten. Our brain doesn’t forget. This is especially important when it is constant, over several years and with no other ‘comforting, safe adult to turn to’. These strong emotions of being told you are ‘stupid, useless, pathetic, a burden, dumb, slow, a waste of space etc’ catch up with you into adulthood. Every time you are in a situation where there is a similar tone of voice and a similar type of criticism (but usually of the much less harmful kind), you are instantly triggered into what is called an ’emotional flashback’. You once again feel that deep sadness, rejection and shame you used to feel as a defenceless child. People might think you are hypersensitive because you are over-reacting so much to something that wasn’t actually that big of a deal. To you however, this incident…

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