Perfectionism

I strived to be a perfectionist.  In my career, I was thorough and dependable with a very strong work ethic.   I seethed inside watching some of my colleagues leisurely stroll into work at 8:02 a.m., late as usual, while forever giving a feeble excuse for their tardiness.  I was always early; how dare they not be on time for work.

My goals were unattainably high, however, when my performance review was presented, one negative criticism overshadowed the nine glowing comments.  I would berate myself, feel unworthy and a complete failure; why couldn’t I have done this better? I wanted to be the best, the perfectionist.  My employer loved me, but I just wasn’t ever perfect enough.  Where did it get me, I would end up losing my career.

This perfectionism, I would later discover, partly led to my depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and eating disorder.

Long story short:  Through therapy I now know that no one can be perfect,  I’m not a perfectionist nor do I want to be.

On HuffingtonPost.com, a detailed article points out, “14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out of Control”.

 

2 thoughts on “Perfectionism

    • cherished79 says:

      Well said, and now I enjoy saying “I don’t want to be a perfectionist”. Who would; takes too much effort, and who really cares, only you do and you beat yourself up if you aren’t.

      Liked by 1 person

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