I strived to be a perfectionist. In my career, I was thorough and dependable with a very strong work ethic. I seethed inside watching some of my colleagues leisurely stroll into work at 8:02 a.m., late as usual, while forever giving a feeble excuse for their tardiness. I was always early; how dare they not be on time for work.
My goals were unattainably high, however, when my performance review was presented, one negative criticism overshadowed the nine glowing comments. I would berate myself, feel unworthy and a complete failure; why couldn’t I have done this better? I wanted to be the best, the perfectionist. My employer loved me, but I just wasn’t ever perfect enough. Where did it get me, I would end up losing my career.
This perfectionism, I would later discover, partly led to my depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and eating disorder.
Long story short: Through therapy I now know that no one can be perfect, I’m not a perfectionist nor do I want to be.
On HuffingtonPost.com, a detailed article points out, “14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out of Control”.