Can I tell? Will I tell? Should I tell?
Will they believe, will they laugh, will they comfort?
Will they act, will they turn me away, will I cry?
Will I be damaged goods, will I be whole again, will I ever be me?
Did I make this up, did this really happen, am I sure?
Was it dark, was it morning, afternoon?
My mind is cloudy, no it’s not, it’s clear
Did it smell, yes it did, he did
Why didn’t I fight, why was I weak, why was I stupid?
Sure I knew better, no I didn’t, they said I should have
It’s confusing, I’m confused, why are you confused?
You think I’m lying, I know you do, why?
Is there light ahead, will I live, am I strong?
Do I want to die, yes I do, yet I don’t
Please save me, no don’t, I want to die
I’m in tears right now, look what you’ve done, leave me alone
The pain, it’s too much
It’s your fault, not mine
I’m cold, you think these thin blankets are comfort?
I shouldn’t have told
(reposted from Jan 27/14, I find myself struggling with PTSD as I was last year)