I used to think like that in my very, very obese days. You would see women under 100 lbs, unwell, thin as a stick, in hospital, their parents troubled, and question, why don’t they just eat, what’s the problem, it doesn’t make sense and so simple to solve? Eating Disorders, anorexia, bulimia and there are others.
Eating disorders are a true “walk a mile in my shoes“, because you don’t know the hell I’m living with; isolated, depressed, suicidal, never satisfied with my body, obsessed with food 24 hours a day, loss of friends, obsessed with body image, counting calories, always cold, the scale determines my day when I weigh myself in the morning and throughout the day…..and the list goes on. This is not a life, and how did I get tied up in this mess? I just wanted to look good, feel good, fit in, not be bullied, please my parents and be beautiful for once in my life. Is that too much to ask, all I ever wanted was to see my collar bone and the gap between my thighs?
Before I was in the midst of undergoing an eating disorder myself, I never had an inkling what goes on in the mind of surviving day by day, and it’s not, surprisingly enough, about food. It’s not that I refused to eat it, I just couldn’t or wouldn’t allow myself to. Seems bizarre doesn’t it. At first I was proud of the fact that I had the power to skip meals, go out with friends and order a diet coke and salad while they ate what they wanted, exhilarated as the pounds dropped, but then it just all became a fucking nightmare. I’ve recovered somewhat with help from the Eating Disorder Program, but I continue to have body image problems, weight concerns and experience depression.
I really just want to say: Don’t judge or reach an opinion until you’ve walked in my shoes.